![]() We often hear how liberating it is to be in our 50s because there are so many life expectations we can thankfully let go of, and how we’re finally privy to an overwhelming sense of comfort in our own skin. And no matter how many ads tell me that my drying vagina needs rejuvenating, my marital aid toy box needs restocking and my husband needs a two-hour erection and then all will finally be right in the sac, I’m pretty sure the fact I’m still married after 25 years means we must be doing something right. ![]() Personally, I don’t have any desire, want or need to think I have to keep up with the expectations the media has for my perimenopausal (and pending menopausal) sex life. But that doesn’t mean you’re not happily, eagerly and satisfyingly riding a great bike three decades later, albeit at often a slower-burn type pace, but still an amazing ride no less. ![]() Your body had the youthful ability to just move faster and was ready quicker - if you know what I mean. Of course, when you were in your roaring 20s, you were likely having mountains of mountain biking-type sex - athletic, shocking, spontaneous, possible frenetic. The “It’s just like riding a bike” cliche has never felt truer than when it comes to sex in middle age. It’s as if we all hit 50 and our bodies suddenly forgot how to do the deed, which couldn’t be further from the truth. Like many good meaning self-improvement pitches aimed at the 50-and-over crowd, the “you can still have hot sex” one has me tired and, quite frankly, nonplussed. I bet you’ll even get a pop-up ad (pun intended) for an erectile dysfunction treatment or personal lubricant, because of course your browser’s cookies have figured out your age by now. You need only to spend a few minutes on any news, culture or wellness website, or even a social media feed geared toward women, and inevitably there will be a column about how and why you need to spice up your sex life. I mean it’s used to sell itself, as in, it has become part of the self-improvement scene. Sex sells, and I don’t just mean it’s used to sell anything and everything. And ironically, even more so: It hasn’t required dipping into 31 or more flavors (or bathtubs) to keep our marriage from melting. Luckily for me, after 25 years of sex with the same person, I’m just as satisfied as I was all those years ago. Shocker, but when you hit 50, you don’t have to turn in your great sex card. I’m happily relieved to report that no, the hubs and I have yet to resort to soaking side by side in nature as part of an effort to keep our dull sex life a little less dull, and that’s because our sex life isn’t dull at all. The first time I saw the now infamous Cialis commercial that featured a slightly gray-haired couple sitting naked in bathtubs mountainside (and later in the same tubs on the beach, in a backyard, in a hay field!?), I thought, Is that what I’m going to need to be doing with my spouse after age 50 to have a satisfying sex live? Are we destined to grow so bored with each other that we’re going to need all kinds of kinky crutches just to keep the fiery flames of hot sex lit? Or at least flickering?
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